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Created by Gary Lavery on May 4th, 2017.
TIP 1 - No More "WHY..."
IT'S good explore, so let's look at language, and the problem that exists with the word "WHY".
When you ask someone "WHY did you do that?", what will you get? - You will get excuses, justifications, reasons, and in general, a defensive reaction.
When someone has done something, would it not be better to find out their intention behind the action? - Maybe they had a really good intention? - Maybe they were doing their best at the time?
So, from now on, we give you the challenge of removing the word "WHY" when challenging someone.
Do This Today:
The obvious instruction here is that we are going to use a string of different words to challenge someone, instead of just using the word ..."WHY". So what are we going to say instead? Use the phrase, "For what purpose" or "What was your intention". The thing here is that when you use these phrases, you find out what the persons higher level intention was when they did whatever they did. Often you will get a surprising answer and one that perhaps enlightens you as to the real reasons behind the action. Nice and simple, but huge results!
WOW! - Your half way there, now let look at this results changing TIP ...
TIP 2 - Let The NOT Be Free
DID you know that research tells us that before the age of 18 you are told "what NOT to do" nearly 300,000 times and only 20,000 "what to do"? The problem here lies with the fact that your Unconscious Mind is NOT very good at processing negatives. For example, have you ever told a child not to do something and they immediately go and do it? - Yes? - Well this is the reason. Their Unconscious Mind (which runs their behaviour) deletes the negative and consequently they just go and do it.
Do This Today:
This technique is simple to say, and much harder to do. I would like you, from now on, to stop telling people what not to do and ONLY tell them what to do instead. So for instance, if you were about to tell your child to not throw their clothes on the floor, you will need to suggest to them that they tidy them up instead. The classic one is when someone yells out "Don't run across the road." The likelihood is that the person or child will delete the negative and hear "run across the road". So, in this situation it would be MUCH better to shout "Stop! Wait there!". So, the key learning here is only tell people what to do and refrain from telling them what not to do. Easy as Pie?
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